Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Mulling things over- Part 1

Work has been slow. 
I don't like being a sedentary being, either physically or mentally. [Aligning this text in the center is the craziest word processing I've done today]. My thoughts wonder to places unrelated to any important tasks at hand. Because I don't have any.

During my day today, my thoughts have been as follows [to name a few]:

I threw away 3 perfectly good paperclips out of the paperclip tray in the copy room. I'm a paperclip snob. Wha? Truly. I am. I throw away the ones that are stretched out. And the annoying ones with the colored plastic shells. And I redo the ones that someone has put on the paper incorrectly. Yes, there is an incorrect way to fasten a paperclip. 

It's 68 degrees today and sunny. I refuse to spend the rest of the sunny days of my life behind a desk. 

I hate dieting. Someone made microwave popcorn in the office. Artificial butter fragrance permeated my  office like a freakin tidal wave. I hate dieting. 

I'm considering starting a food blog. I miss cooking. Jericho misses it too. Plus, with this much time to think of non-work thinks, I may as well do something to contribute to humanity. Why not write a food blog? Too cliche? Maybe I'll call it "Mediocre Cooking: for those that really just don't care that much".

I'm wearing khakis I haven't been able to wear in 3 years. I love dieting.

Tonight is book club and can't wait to have a new book to read. I'm considering finding downloadable books so I can read them at work. I'm also considering sneaking out the back door and reading outside to test how long it takes anyone to figure out that I'm gone.

I have no idea if I'm supposed to bring a beach towel on my cruise.

I want a new compact digital camera. My mission: convince husband that I need two new dresses and a new camera for the cruise. Wish me luck. 

Jericho has been working in town for the whole of 2010 thus far. It's fantastically more fun. If he starts traveling again, I'm considering getting a therapist. And lots of seasons of TV shows on DVD. 

My passport came yesterday. I am officially one step closer to being "one who travels." My picture is atrocious. Tonight, I'm going to the mall to find an uber-cute passport holder in the hopes it will distract from the uncuteness that is my picture.

I want a pair of cowboy boots. Namely this pair. But hesitate because I don't think I have the fashion moxie.

I hate dieting.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Wal-Mart Photo Lab: Strike 2

Remember that time it snowed and I took a bunch of pictures with my cool new Holga camera? Yeah, neither does Wal-Mart. Dropped off my film on February 5, 2010. Last week was my 112th phone call with the Wal-Mart photo lab about where the blazes my pictures were. They're still at the Fuji lab and will be until the first week in April. At least this phone call ended with, "Oh, and they'll be free." Dang straight. 

So I've had this draft post sitting in my queue for almost two months anxiously awaiting the addition of my cool Holga pictures. As you can see, there are no Holga pictures on this post. Instead, I'm going to leave you with what our "house" currently looks like. Jericho drives right by our home site every day on his way home from work so he's stopping several times a week to check on the progress. And take pictures. [So I can make an video flip book at the end, preferably set to the music of an uppity saloon piano.]

Sunday, March 21, 2010


Today Jericho and I made a new friend. We stopped for a quick lunch at Chick-Fila while out on our Saturday errands. Upon receiving our food and sitting down at a table not far from the counter, a girl about 6 years old walked over and climbed up into a chair at our table. I initially thought she was lost, but turns out, she wasn't. 

"Hi. Are you going to eat lunch with us today?"
"Great! What's your name?"
"Kristen.What's yours?"
"Kelley. What did you get for lunch?"
"Chicken nuggets and fruit and juice!"
"Awesome! I LOVE chicken nuggets!"

Jericho comes back from getting napkins and finds our new friend, Kristen, at our table with me. I introduce them, "Kristen, this is Jericho. Jericho, this is Kristen, she's going to be eating lunch with us today."
"Cool. Hi."

I am finding this a little strange but highly amusing and fun. I look around and assume that her dad is the man paying at the counter. He soon figures out where she is and comes over and very quickly apologizes for his daughter. I say it's no big deal and laugh it off. She leaves with her dad to go eat with the rest of their family. About 3 minutes later, Kristen comes back. 

"How come you're not eating with your family?"
"I want to eat here."

About one minute later, dad comes back to take her to the family table.

"Bye Kristen. It was nice to meet you!"
"Bye!!" Walking away and waving...

"That was fun." After Kristen left, Jericho and I just laughed at this completely friendly and beautiful little girl. It was so refreshing to be reminded how amiability comes so effortlessly to children. I told Jericho that I wished that everyone could have the uninhibited friendliness that kids have and I hoped that we teach our children how to be that polite and friendly to everyone they meet. Little Kristen taught us a lesson today without even realizing it. I thought of this experience throughout the rest of the day and how uplifted I felt from such a small experience. I hope her parents truly appreciate the beauty of their little girl.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

WalMart vs. United States Government

Jericho and I will be applying for our passports on Friday morning. Yay!!! Part of the requisite materials are the passport photos. While at the Wal-Mart photo center recently, we saw a big picture of a happy blond lady holding her passport and two photos with the words inset "Get passport photos here!" Fabulous! I had to pick up some pictures so we went by to get our pretty, smiley passport photos taken.

Upon asking Barb (or whatever her name was) that we would like passport photos, she looked at me, then back at Jericho, then me again and furrowed her brow like I'd just asked her to lick the bottom of my shoe. "You can't wear that shirt." I was wearing a black t-shirt with a red "STATE" written across the chest. "And YOU [Jericho] can't wear that." He was wearing a gray hoodie, which he intended on removing for the picture, and he promptly informed Barb as such. After deliberating what to do about my printed t-shirt situation (like it was the biggest problem she'd encountered in her Wal-Mart career) I asked if it would be okay to just turn it inside out. Genius!

I go to the restroom to flip around my shirt. I come back and Barb is taking Jericho's picture and freaking out about his white shirt collar that is peaking out from under his plain gray t-shirt. Finally after multiple adjustments to his shirt, his picture is taken. Then it's my turn. "Push your hair behind your ears. Your ears have to be showing." My response: "Why? SHE [the pretty lady in the advert] isn't showing her ears!" Fine. I'll look like a dweeb who flattens my hair behind my ears for my passport photo. Just take the picture. [Sidenote of a little self-praise: I have an apparently rare ability to take very normal driver's license pictures. In fact, I have received multiple compliments on my various ID pictures. This photo ID experience is clearly not shaping up to continue this trend.]

So there I sit, flat back hair, both ears showing proudly, inside out t-shirt. I am ready for the picture and give the smile I hope to be seen by all the countries I'll visit over the next 10 years. "Don't smile." WTH lady!! My response again: "Then why is the pretty girl in this picture smiling??" I understand that the passport photo is for an official government issued document with official rules but really, when I take this somewhere, people aren't going to think it's me because I generally don't go around with flat hair and looking pissed off at the world because I'm a happy person and I SMILE!!! They are going to take me off in handcuffs because the girl in my photo is angry and ugly and doesn't know how to put her clothes on properly. She assured me that everyone's passport photo is bad anyway and that each one of these oppositions that I am having to her passport photo process is an issue that she has encountered before and that if said requirement is not followed, the gov'ment will not use those photos. 

Her last comment to me after taking the final picture, "Yeah, you're not going to like this picture." She was just a big, giant ray of sunshine in my day.

Part of the reason I was so shocked by Barb's passport photo requirements is because, like any good American, I did my research before going to take our pictures. On the US Government website for information on your passport, here is the list of requirements for your photo:
  • 2 Identical photos
  • In color
  • 2 x 2 inches in size
  • Taken within the past 6 months, showing current appearance
  • Full face, front view with a plain white or off-white background
  • Between 1 inch and 1 3/8 inches from the bottom of the chin to the top of the head
  • Taken in normal street attire:
    • Uniforms should not be worn in photographs except religious attire that is worn daily 
    • Do not wear a hat or headgear that obscures the hair or hairline 
    • If you normally wear prescription glasses, a hearing device, wig or similar articles, they should be worn for your picture 
    • Dark glasses or nonprescription glasses with tinted lenses are not acceptable unless you need them for medical reasons (a medical certificate may be required)
Nothing that she made us do is on this list. NOTHING. According to the government of the United States of America, we were in no violation of any passport photo guideline. But, according to Barb McDemanding, this was not so. I hate going somewhere looking like I don't know what is required of me. I like being prepared. I like having my research done. Therefore, I was not happy that Barb was so quick to instruct me on my erroneous passport photo expectations.

And it was $15 for both Jericho and me. How come they can print off a 5x7 print of your dog for 10 cents but they charge you $15 to get a couple 2x2 prints of just your face? If there is an issue with our photos when we go apply on Friday, so help me, I will be demanding a refund for my $15 pictures. And maybe sue her for pain and suffering.

Clearly this is further evidence that Wal-Mart thinks of themselves as more powerful than the US government. Next, I expect they'll take on God Himself.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

62 days

In the spirit of a rainy day and yet another forecast for frikkin snow, I would like to remind myself (through pictures) of where I'll be in 62 days.

Right now, I am here:

In 62 days, I will be here:

 and here

In 64 days, I will be here:


In 65 days, I will be here:

And in 66 days, I will be here again:

But for now, I am still here:

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