Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas Movies

Oh how I love to watch Christmas movies. But I feel like I've been watching the same ones year after year. First, I would like to share with you some of my favorite parts of some of my favorite Christmas movies. Then, I would like to ask for suggestions on new Christmas movies. Or you can send them to me as presents. Whatever.
[Sorry some of the clips don't work on here but they do if you follow the link to Youtube.]

I want one of my family traditions to be having a dance party to this song every Christmas Eve.

And my other favorite part of Love Actually.


I love so many scenes in this movie. This isn't my favorite but those Youtube clips didn't have any audio.
Where's the Tylenol!?!?! 

This one is long. But the reason why the ending to this movie is one of my favorites is because I didn't see it for like 10 years of watching the movie. Our family tradition is to watch this movie on Christmas Eve, no matter what, so for years, I'd always fall asleep before we got to the end. Then one year, I finally saw it and the movie made SO much more sense.

Two favorite things about this movie: Kate Winslet. The music. How cool would it be to have Kate Winslet and Hans Zimmer teaming to give the background narration of your life?

Monday, December 12, 2011

Cruel Creches

When I said I was going to make a bunch of posts dedicated to Christmas, I bet you all thought I was going to share poems and heartwarming stories or something. After my last post, this is clearly not so. I don't even know if yall are enjoying this but I'm going to keep going until I find something to make someone smile as much as these make me smile.

Next on our list of Kelley's odd Christmas humor posts we have:

Awesomely Bad Nativity Scenes 

...and they presented gifts of gold, Frankenstein, myrrh and a lively Irish jig.

Why do people insist on using animals? Google it. There is a disturbing amount. I could have done a post just of animal nativities.

You lose points if you hit the baby Jesus.

My mom has one of these characters as an ornament on the tree and it has a little red heart that says "I burn for you." Ha! Get it!?

Talk about confusing your Christmas stories.

Never never never never have inflatables in the yard. Nativity inflatable? Soooo bad.

Not sure why this one's weird? Look again.
I actually love Veggie Tales. Probably not the best idea for a nativity scene but it's still kinda cute.
Don't know what this one is but $10 says it was made in Japan.
Shotgun shells. They probably sell this at my Wal-Mart.
I don't even know where to start....
There are about a thousand dog-themed nativity scenes out there. Maybe if I was a dog person I'd find them cute but I'm not so I don't.

Dragons! They're frikkin dragons!

Is that Joseph? Or Huckleberry Finn?
Look closely. They're wax museum statues. Joseph and Mary? David and Posh Spice Beckam.
If you can't afford a dog or dragon nativity, just use the random pork meats you have hanging out in the fridge. Good thing Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sounds of the Season

In honor of the holiday season, I decided to dedicate my December posts to all things Christmas. And since my blog readership has varied over the years, I've decided to recycle and update some older Christmas posts. Posts of Christmas past, if you will. [Zing!]

First, a few years ago, I created a list of my least favorite Christmas songs.

I don't really listen to a lot of pop Christmas music. The pop-ification of traditional, feel-good Christmas songs is just weird and awkward. Plus, everyone releases a Christmas album. Don't believe me? Stay tuned for another re-post. Nonetheless, there are still plenty of fun pop Christmas songs out there. The following list is not some of them. Below are my top 5 most irritating pop Christmas songs. Feel free to add any to the list.

Do You Hear What I Hear?
Have you ever seen the movie Gremlins? There is a part when the mom gets attacked by the evil Gremlins while they're hiding in the Christmas tree while a record is playing this song in the house. If the image of getting mauled by your Christmas tree wasn't enough to scar me as a child, the record gets stuck on the line "do you hear what I hear?" and really sealed the deal. 

All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey
I liked this song when it first came out. But apparently so did every other woman in the entire nation so the radio stations still feel the need to play it twice every hour. [My new Christmas gem this year can be found here. I might have a renewed love for this song. I can't stop watching.]

Wonderful Christmas Time - Paul McCartney
The repetition of the line "Simply havin a wonderful Christmas time" roughly 247 times is a little unnecessary. I expect more lyrical genius out of a Beatle.

So this is Christmas - John Lennon
I'm not heartless! It has a beautiful message but the creepy children's backup choir kind of freaks me out. Celine does a version of this song that is gorgeous but she went with the traditional gospel choir as backup and let's be honest, whenever you go with the gospel choir, you're golden.

Feliz Navidad
Oh how I love the song that makes every American feel that much more culturally diverse because they know how to say "Merry Christmas" in Spanish. 

So you don't think I'm a complete Scrooge, here are a few of my favorite pop Christmas songs: 

One time in high school, me and three friends choreographed a dance to this song. It was awesome. Wait, am I remembering that correctly? 

Please Come Home for Christmas - The Eagles
The Jon Bon Jovi version is a close second. He does have better hair. 

Man, I could listen to this over and over and over. 

Sleigh Ride- Boston Pops/John Williams
It makes me want to buy a woodblock. 

A little state pride. If I had a Christmas party, I would play this.

Jk. Or am I......?

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