Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Dear Bev...

I thought about adding this to my last post about things I'm learning but decided it needed more of an explanation. The snippet on what I'm learning would have said this:

When you're experiencing extreme emotional sensitivity during your 3rd trimester, it's not a good idea to make serious decisions. One of those serious decisions being writing a letter to Governor Bev Purdue about why your husband can't get his deployment delayed so he can witness the birth of his first-born child.

You may know from this post that Jericho is being deployed very soon and will most likely miss the birth of our baby. Since that post, we've explored some of our options in trying to arrange for Jericho to be here when the baby comes. I asked my doctor what their recommendations are on inducing me early for no medical reason. They said that they don't induce prior to 39 weeks and I would be right at 38 weeks, so they wouldn't do it. I was totally fine with that. If it comes down to risking anything with the baby or making sure Jericho is there for the delivery, we're fine if he's not there. But my doctor said that even if we were to get his deployment delayed a week, then inducing early would be a more reasonable option.

Next, Jericho said something to his superior officers in his unit. And they talked to someone else, who talked to someone else. And then the Commander finally said that I should get a letter from my doctor explaining why my husband should be there for the delivery. When I asked my doctor, who was awesomely willing to write any letter we needed, he said, "Isn't this kind of obvious?" To the civilians, yes. But the gov'ment, they need it in writing.

It's important to note that when he leaves North Carolina, he'll be going to Texas for training until they leave for Iraq on September 8. Any delay would be in him leaving for Texas not Iraq. And we've already determined that if I deliver once he's in Texas, he won't be able to come back to NC for the delivery.

A month or so after sending the doctor's note to the army people, Jericho received word that he would not be granted a delay in his deployment. He would be leaving at the same time as everyone else in his unit [July 27th]. I was peeved. And sad. I felt small and helpless and annoyed that they couldn't adjust things by a matter of days. If only I could write a letter to Obama, I thought. He's all anti-war liberal. He should have sympathy on my situation and let my husband stay 2 seconds longer. Logic eventually stepped in and made me realize that I didn't even have his address.

But wait, Jericho is Army National Guard. His commander-in-chief isn't Obama, it's Governor Bev Purdue! Bingo! That's much more feasible!

And so on June 30th, I penned a letter to our dear governor explaining my situation and what I needed. I didn't get mean. I didn't get sappy and plead to her "from a mother to a mother". It was fairly emotionless and short. An hour or so after I sent the letter, I immediately regretted my decision. It suddenly occurred to me that Jericho might get in trouble for his hormone-crazed pregnant wife tattling on his Unit to the Governor. I calmed a little as I convinced myself that there was no way the Governor would actually get my letter and do something about it. It'll just sit in a stack somewhere and I'll eventually get a form letter response one day.

I was little embarrassed by my rash decision so I didn't tell Jericho for a couple of days. He laughed at me and said, "Yeah I hope I don't get in trouble." Since then, I've been super worried that he's going to get yelled at by someone above him. I really didn't intend on anything coming of this letter. It was mainly cathartic. I needed to feel like I at least tried to make something happen, even if nothing changed. 

Well, he didn't get yelled at, but my letter somehow, in a matter of days, made it to someone that mattered and the phone calls started. When Jericho told me that my letter was causing a bit of a reaction, I laughed. Hard. "Are you happy with yourself now?", he asked. "Only if you don't get in trouble."

Over the past couple of weeks, various phone calls have been going back and forth between an unknown amount of people in unknown authoritative roles. Jericho's platoon sergeant called him. His Commander called him (!). All trying to figure out what to do with the situation since apparently, they can't not do nothing at this point because someone went over their heads and brought the Governor's office into the mix. [I'm sorry! I'm sorry!] Every time Jericho tells me about someone else calling about the situation, I very frantically ask him if they're mad at him. He assures me that everything is fine and that no one is mad. "Do they at least know you had no knowledge of your crazed wife sending this letter?" "Yes. They know it's your fault." "Good. Should I write a letter apologizing to your commander?" "No. I think you've done enough."

When I realized the fuss my little letter caused, I wanted to take it all back. I still had this fear that Jericho would get in trouble and I'd be to blame. But as it turns out and Jericho keeps reminding me, it all ended up being good in the end. Jericho's unit leaves NC for Texas on July 27th. My 39th week mark, my magic number for induction, is Friday July 29th. The army people assured Jericho that he wouldn't be leaving until after the 29th. I updated my doctor on the situation and with full confidence, he scheduled me for an induction on July 29th. Yesterday, I [personally] received a letter from the Major General of the North Carolina Army National Guard [basically the head of the National Guard in NC] telling me that "after careful consideration", they would let Jericho leave on July 30th. 

For ways and reasons that may always be unknown to me, my letter made it to someone in the Governor's office, probably not Bev herself, but to someone that obviously mattered. And that someone clearly thought enough of what I wrote to take action. And now, through a totally unexpected chain of events, my husband will be there for the delivery of our baby.

And now I'll know what address to use when I send Bev a baby announcement.

15 comments:

  1. Crying happy tears. I love the three of you so much.

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  2. The funniest thing about this is I could just hear Jericho making these comments in his sarcastic tone... SO FUNNY! I'm so glad that whoever in the Governor's office got your letter did whatever it was they did :-) Happy he get's to see the baby being born! GOOD JOB!

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  3. That is AWESOME!! I'm so glad it worked out for you. Too bad it isn't July 31st, but close enough, right????

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  4. So awesome!!! So happy for you!~

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  5. thank goodness! That is great news!

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  6. That is wild! I am so excited for you and Jericho! One person really does make a difference :)

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  7. Wow! George W and Laura are friends of yours! It's awesome that you received a letter from the big brass! I'm dying to read that letter!

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  8. I hope you don't have a 24+ hour labor. :) So great that you did this. Families are important and government needs to be reminded of that every now and then. I am proud of you and you don't have a thing to be embarrassed about. If anything, the National Guard people that original denied Jericho should feel embarrassed. Way to go!

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  9. You're amazing. I can't imagine how wonderful and simultaneously heartbreaking it will be for both of you, to have him there and then have him leave. I can only repeat, you're amazing.

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  10. It's a Christmas miracle!!! So happy for you both!

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  11. Kelley, you're awesome! I am so glad for you guys!

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  12. Nice diligence Kelley. It turned out really well. And I like all the quotes you put in :). I almost felt I could hear your conversations all the way in Utah.

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  13. Wow, now why did that make me cry? That will be so nice to have your husband there to see your baby. Good luck to you.

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  14. Yay, so awesome, Kelley! Nice work.

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  15. I can barely see what I'm typing because of the tears in my eyes. You are awesome, Kelley. That is all I can say. You are absolutely AWESOME!!!!!

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