Mulling things over- Part 2

I have an obsessive desire to do projects. It's why I love to cook. It's why I love to read books. Starting and finishing something gives me an indescribable sense of empowerment. This grand empowerment is due to the fact that I don't always finish projects. So when I do, it's gold star time. Ever since I was a kid, this was always something I wished I could change. I can design and create artistic decorations for my house that take hours upon hours to complete. But I still can't manage to fold my clean laundry in a timely fashion. It's very paradoxical in my world. I should be studied. 

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I often wonder what we're supposed to be in this life. Our faith shapes our character. Our family shapes our character. Our experiences shape our character. But what is the ultimate person that we are supposed to be? Are we variables? Or is the person we are when we're 21 the foundational character of who we will always be? I heard somewhere once that we have lost most of our ability for change by the time we're 30, or something like that. That's frightening to me. I hope to change and grow every day for the rest of my life. Not that I'm not happy with who I am and what my life is now, but the idea that anything could remain in a relatively similar spectrum of definition makes me wary of the future. I recently read in a novel an exchange between a boss and an employee he was firing. He attempted to encourage her by saying that she had her whole future ahead of her. She responded, "Everyone's whole future is a head of them. It's why it's called the future." I guess it's what we do with that future that is supposed to be encouraging.

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Also, in reading this recent book, I realized how easy it must be to get a book published. My heart, there are some poorly written books out there. Why shouldn't I be a writer? How would I do it? Where would I start? Clearly I don't have to start with much if all these people with rambling prose and run-on sentences are getting published. Every time I read one of these books, I'm further inspired to take a stab at it. Conversely, if I don't succeed, then I'm reminded of how horrible the books are of authors that have succeeded and therefore mine is actually below them. I'd rather have my book sell only 50 copies [most likely all purchased by my parents] and end up in the bargain bin. At least that is a more acceptable form of semi-failure.

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I watched most of the World Cup last month. One thing that baffled me in every game was the fouls. Not the amount of fouls or the nature of those that were committed but the reaction of the offender whenever the whistle was blown against them. These professional soccer players have been playing soccer for a while. Some probably twenty years. And yet, whenever they commit a foul, they are ALWAYS surprised when the whistle is blown. Come on, like you didn't know? Not even a little hint in that conscious of yours that maybe, just maybe, by taking that guy out at the ankles was going to draw a whistle? I thought this was strange but then I began to see similar behavior off of the soccer field. Apparently it is in our nature to defend and rationalize. I recently witnessed a juvenile at his first appearance in court for breaking and entering in a car with the intent for larceny. He was crying and physically upset about the situation. I really couldn't feel sorry for him. I thought the same thing as with the soccer players, are you really that surprised? You bust out some windows in a car, get caught, and you're little 15 year old heart is surprised? People can't help themselves. Passion and emotions somehow override our voices of common sense and logic. It seems that logic is what should prevail amongst such rampant irrational behaviors. But then again, no one would ever fall in love either...