Thursday, July 17, 2008

My quest for power steering

A couple of months back, I wrote a brief blog post about how I can relate to Buddy the Elf when he goes for his first escalator ride. I finally feel that I'm at a point where I am no longer keeping that one back foot planted on the ground floor.

I don't usually write down my New Year's resolutions, or even really any goal for that matter. One of my unwritten goals for this year was to find a new job. I went much of the early part of the year looking at job posting after job posting thinking that nothing looked remotely like something I wanted to do. I realized after some searching that it wasn't that the jobs were not what I was looking for, but that I didn't know what I wanted... at all.

Within the last few weeks, I have decided to make some real changes and get my life more harmonious with, well, anything. I've felt very scattered for a very long time and was very tired of it. The moment that my real changes started to happen, even if they were only internally, life became much more... something... clear? simple? obvious? easy?

I'm not sure exactly how to explain it but maybe this little comparison will help clarify. I don't know much about cars. But I have driven a car with power steering and without power steering. I don't know what technically is the difference between the two but I do know that driving a car without power steering is tough. The car will function the same, you can make the same turns, drive down the same roads, but it's just a touch more difficult. That's the best way I can describe how my life felt. I was going through the same motions but everything felt like I had to put way too much effort in to make things happen. And in case my vague analogous prose isn't clear, the incorporation of righting the wrongs through the Lord and allowing someone else help carry the weight of the decisions is what makes every day just a touch less difficult. Most of the time, that extra assistance is through the Lord and the Spirit. But occassionally, this help is most evident in the people in our lives. Some that come along when you least expect it.

That being said, as of yesterday, I have landed a new job. A job that I truly wanted. Not just an excuse to leave my current job but in an area of law that will be perfect for me and my experience. I have a perfect start date of one week after a much anticipated vacation with my family. I am getting a significant raise. And I'm moving. Luckily I have a great friend that works in Chapel Hill that is also looking to move out there. Christa - I'm going to talk about you right now. :) About a month or so ago, Christa and I about had our perfect apartment ready to go but then it didn't end up working out for Christa to be able to live in Raleigh. If she was going to move out, it needed to be in Chapel Hill, which I totally agreed with. She was worried that I was mad. But I really never was. It immediately made sense to me that there was a reason why we didn't end up getting an apartment in Raleigh. I said that then too, so don't think I'm back-tracking so I can be a know-it-all. Ok. I'm done talking about you now Christa.

I have been incredibly blessed in such a short amount of time. And when I say short, I don't mean the past six months. I mean in about the last three weeks. I don't usually get this gushy and personal with my posts but I guess it happens every now and then. Plus, it saves me time from having to retell all this information separately to everyone that reads my blog. Not that it's THAT many, but you get the idea. I am extremely grateful for my life right now. I know we all deserve great things to happen in our lives, but it's still hard to ever feel that you've deserved them.


  1. How exciting! I definitely know what you mean about things being scattered. I should just copy/paste parts of your blog into mine and say, "True 'dat." Ha! Anyhoo - what's the skinny on the new job?

  2. Congrats on getting what you needed. I'm sure things will work out great for you!

  3. It's amazing the huge blessings that are heaped upon us when we make an effort to do our part. You deserve every good thing that God sees fit to bestow upon you. Congratulations, I am so happy for when exactly are you moving out? :) We will miss you:(

  4. Me? I'm the great friend? Sweet!!!

    PS...If you're going to talk about me I'm glad it wasn't about how I have major ear wax build up or something embarrassing like that. (I am in no way saying I have major ear wax build up; this was purely an example)

    But in all seriousness I'm really happy for you to have gotten the job...and for me to have a cool roommate...but mostly for you to have something new and good and exciting!

  5. Not that I think you should move to Chapel Hill, but congrats on the new job!!
    that's exciting!!

  6. I am proud of you -- your rewards are justified and the essence of your willingness to grab your own dream remarkable. The maturity you've shown and how we'll you've written the moment in time are all a reflection of you.


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