Monday, December 12, 2011

Cruel Creches

When I said I was going to make a bunch of posts dedicated to Christmas, I bet you all thought I was going to share poems and heartwarming stories or something. After my last post, this is clearly not so. I don't even know if yall are enjoying this but I'm going to keep going until I find something to make someone smile as much as these make me smile.

Next on our list of Kelley's odd Christmas humor posts we have:

Awesomely Bad Nativity Scenes 

...and they presented gifts of gold, Frankenstein, myrrh and a lively Irish jig.

Why do people insist on using animals? Google it. There is a disturbing amount. I could have done a post just of animal nativities.

You lose points if you hit the baby Jesus.

My mom has one of these characters as an ornament on the tree and it has a little red heart that says "I burn for you." Ha! Get it!?

Talk about confusing your Christmas stories.

Never never never never have inflatables in the yard. Nativity inflatable? Soooo bad.

Not sure why this one's weird? Look again.
I actually love Veggie Tales. Probably not the best idea for a nativity scene but it's still kinda cute.
Don't know what this one is but $10 says it was made in Japan.
Shotgun shells. They probably sell this at my Wal-Mart.
I don't even know where to start....
There are about a thousand dog-themed nativity scenes out there. Maybe if I was a dog person I'd find them cute but I'm not so I don't.

Dragons! They're frikkin dragons!

Is that Joseph? Or Huckleberry Finn?
Look closely. They're wax museum statues. Joseph and Mary? David and Posh Spice Beckam.
If you can't afford a dog or dragon nativity, just use the random pork meats you have hanging out in the fridge. Good thing Jews don't celebrate Christmas.


  1. AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA! This made my day! Wow! I want to comment on each one individually but I wont just the ones that made me laugh the hardest. The santa over the baby Jesus got a good chuckle followed by a nice hardy laugh with the inflatable nativity (I think your comment there was what sealed it)and then Mary with the beard!? What in the WORLD! And I am a dog person but somehow I still manage to not want dog figurines around my house let alone in the shape of the Nativity. And favorite of them all, the one that nearly made me fall from my couch in laughter...The Dragons! BAHAHAHA! This is spectacular! WHO DOES THAT?!?!

  2. So funny, Kelley! You are so dang clever:)

  3. DYING! Absolutely DYING! The lil smokies, and the cats, and the bearded Mary! My kids just watched Elmo's Chrsitmas episode where he is baby Jesus. Seriously disturbing. I love vegetales too, I wish my kids thought they were as cute as I do.

  4. I am a dog person and I don't find the dog creches cute.

    Also...I think the dragons are total awesome-sauce. Though I would never own/display it.

  5. That was hilarious. I laughed out loud, several times.


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