The Thinks I Think

The other day I tried to buy jeans. I wanted blue jeans. Normal denim blue. I wanted flare leg because skinny jeans make me look like the orphanage lady from Despicable Me. I thought this was a simple quest. One that I have had no trouble with in the past. When I saw all of my options having various degrees of skinniness in colors previously reserved only for Skittles, I realized I was old. Looks like we're sticking with yoga pants for a little longer.

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Have you ever gotten a spray tan? Like a professional one? I got one for the first time a few weeks before my sister's wedding. It was a surprisingly hilarious experience. I stood in this big booth and had an automated woman giving me directions on the specific "positions" in which I was to stand. Position 2 and 3 resemble a Bangles song. You also have to put this goopy lotion on your hands and feet so they don't end up orange. You have to put it on so thick that it looks like you've been covered in mayonnaise. I was actually laughing. I was LITerally spray-painting my body. You stand there in your desired level of nakedness, wearing a shower cap, hands and feet covered with mayonnaise, and taking instructions from the giant spray-painting machine. And it's COLD! At least normal tanning beds are warm while they give you cancer.

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I'm cool with being a stay at home mom for the most part. I'm not really a feminist but I occasionally get the urge to yell, "Who do you think I am!?! June frikkin Cleaver!!??!" Not at anyone in particular. Just in my house by myself; usually when I need to come up with something for dinner. Again. Or dishes need to be done at 9:00 at night. Or basically anything that means I need to come out from underneath the covers of my bed.

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I am highly addicted to fabric stores. I'm not even that big of a sewer. But I aspire to be and I do enough sewing that going into fabric stores is like creative crack. When I return from my trips, I tell Jericho the same thing. Yell the same thing, actually - Two years ago I was making Sydney's nursery bedding. I wanted yellow and grey. I couldn't buy yellow and grey bedding because I couldn't find any. Hence the decision to make stuff. I went to every fabric store in a 50 mile radius of my house. I shopped online. And I ended up finding some decent yellow and grey fabrics. I like the finished product. I don't love it. Now when I go to any place that sells fabric, I see beautiful yellow and grey patterns that I LOVE. Stripes! Chevrons! Dot! Tiles! Paisleys! I yell to Jericho every time - "MORE YELLOWS AND GREYS!!!" At least there is one area of my life where I'm slightly ahead of the trends.

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I bought a Sudoku book. No, I'm not going on a plane soon. I bought it to exercise my brain. The other day I couldn't remember the name of a car that I knew I knew and it was making me crazy that I couldn't remember it. I went through the alphabet numerous times trying to figure it out. It finally came to me a couple of hours later. Now I'm doing Sudoku. Next I will be playing memory card games with Sydney and hoping she doesn't beat me.

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Ever since seeing a beautiful brown color of nail polish on a friend more than three years ago, I've been on a mad search for the perfect brown nail polish. True story. Three years. I think I finally found it. I didn't want taupe or espresso or dark brown or brownish red or brownish-something else. Just brown. It's called Toasted Almond by Covergirl and it's glorious.